


Smart mouthed.  Dadschlatt oneshot

by ficta_scriptor



Series: Dsmp oneshots [3]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Cara | CaptainPuffy and Jschlatt are Siblings, Family, Family Angst, Family Bonding, Fluff and Angst, Horns, Hybrids, Jschlatt Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Jschlatt is Toby Smith | Tubbo's Parent, Light Angst, Mentioned Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Wilbur Soot, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Morally Ambiguous Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Parent Cara | CaptainPuffy, Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Parental Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Cara | CaptainPuffy, Protective Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Ram Hybrid Toby Smith | Tubbo, Sheep Hybrid Cara | CaptainPuffy, Twins Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:00:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29391624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ficta_scriptor/pseuds/ficta_scriptor
Summary: Dadshlatt one-shot :)Written at 2 am because I watched one too many anamatics.
Relationships: Cara | CaptainPuffy & Jschlatt, Cara | CaptainPuffy & Jschlatt & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Jschlatt & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Series: Dsmp oneshots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2206182
Comments: 29
Kudos: 147





	Smart mouthed.  Dadschlatt oneshot

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [waste my time](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28191753) by [tommyiisiit](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tommyiisiit/pseuds/tommyiisiit). 



Note: for the purpose of this fic tubbo's "real name" is theo, as he has said he is uncomfortable with people using his real life name in fics. So for the purpose of this fic the charecter tubbo's real name is Theo.

Schlatt was smart.

He was.

He was smart.

He was-  
Wasn't he?

Schlatt had always been smart. As long as he could remember. Maybe it was the ego talking but he didn't care. He was smart. 

When his father died while he was only 16, schlatt was smart enough to realize how shit he was and how pointless grieving was.

When he inherrited an entire company a year later he was smart enough to take the reigns and steer them to the future.

When everything became to much he was smart enough to find alternatives to breaks. To happiness.

He learned to nurse bottles of whiskey instead of headaches.

Can't be hungover if your always drunk, right?

He was smart enough to stick to himself. Rarely interacting with anyone save his sister.

He was smart enough to know that however much he begged she wouldn't want the company. She wouldn't want the responsibility.

He was smart enough to know he would have to work twice as hard because his head was adorned by ram horns.

Schlatt was smart.

He was responsible.

But that wasn't enough.

Being smart didnt stop addiction.

Being smart didnt keep him out of bars.

Being smart didnt-

"Puffy?"

Schlatt woke up to another blinding headache. But instead of arising to an empty office he saw puffy in the doorway. Maybe it was the insomnia but her hair all fluffed out in a halo made her look like an angel.

Her face broke the illusion, however. 

She was horrified.

"Puffy? Why are you-"

"Are you drunk?"

He glanced around. A bottle was still in his left hand.. 

"What kind of a question is that?"

"How long."

"Hm?"

"How long have you been drinking."

"Aw come on! Not even a hello from my big sister?"

She remained silent. Clenching her fists so tightly you could see the knuckles beneath skin. Schlatt attempted to heave himself up at least to a proper sitting position. His palm strained flat against the cool wood of his office as he rubbed his temple with the other. Then he answered the question.

"Surprised you didn't know before. Thought you at least cared enough to notice."

"This is not about me schlatt."

He rolled his eyes.

"When is it ever, amiright? Our fucking sexist scumbag of a dad couldn't even bother to right you in the will-"

"-ANSWER MY FUCKING QUESTION!"

He shouldn't have brought up the will. That had been resolved. He didn't care about his dad anymore. 

Why couldn't he think straight?

"Well hell if I remember puffy! I dunno, since I got the company? Another thing I learned from dear old pops."

"Stop. Stop blaming this on him. He is dead. This is your fault."

"Hey, I am perfectly Fine as I am!

"LIKE HELL YOU ARE! I cant believe you. You're only 17, schlatt. I am not going to let you throw everything away-

"Hey ive been smart! I haven't gone out and stole shit, no brawl fights, never got a chick knocked up and believe me, I had the opportunity-

"-well thank fucking God for that. You'd be just as shit of a father as he was."

"Okay thats a bit excessive-

"-well, its true. Get your act together."

"Excuse you. I am a C.E.O.. you a CEO puffy?"

She stuck him across the face

"Stand the fuck up schlatt."

"Arent I?"

He looked around in confusion only to realize he was still on the floor. Puffly yanked him up by the horn. Schlatt tried desperately to escape but was too dizzy to do anything. She hoisted him up onto the bed and raked the other hand through her curls. She knocked the bottles onto the floor as the mattress shifted under her weight as she sat down. 

" I- I'm not going to lose you. Schlatt. I wont let this continue." She said softly.

"Well that's a change in pace if I ever saw one."

"It's called pity. Schlatt. I pity you. You are pitiful."

And thats what stuck with him.

He wasnt pitiful.

He was smart.

And so he tried to prove it.

He tried to cut down on drinking.

Puffy.. helped. She cut him off at the source, threatening his older "friends" that if they kept supplying him.. they'd answer to her.

Most cut contact with him completely. And he was pissed. At first. But eventually, he bagan to sober up. Of course he still had booze, no way was he fucking quitting cold turkey. He found a way. He certainly had the money for it.

And then the fucking kid came.

Schlatt was smart. He hadn't lied to puffy. Or at least, he thought so. He was smart and was as careful as he could be. that didn't stop the kid from coming. He found the box in the middle of the night. There was no ring on his door, no mysterious stranger. He found the kid when he got up for work the next day. Almost stepped on him.

A kid. In a box. No older than a year. Holy hell what was he going to do.

He collapsed in the doorway. Thinking over every possibility. What could he do?

He could give the kid to an orphanage?

...

That seemed to be the only option. Schlatt cursed whoever had dropped off the kid on his step. And then he saw the note.

"You don't remember me. Why would you? I was just another one of your fucking mistakes. Kids yours now. Don't try find me."

Schlatt was smart.

But that wasn't enough.

He buried his head in his knees and tried to repress sobs. Puffy was right. His dad was right. This woman.. she was right.

He wasnt a father. He couldn't be a father. He could barely take care of himself.

Kids need patience. Kids need time.

Schlatt was logical. He knew what he needed to do.

And then the kid looked up.  
He yawned and opened his eyes.

Schlatt felt something in his heart.. soul.. mind whatever. It changed.

Schlatt was smart.

But the kid was so small..

He couldn't take care of a kid! 

The kids lip started quivering and his eyes watered. "Shit- uh-"  
Schlatt picked him up aquardly.  
The kid didn't cry. He just looked up with his big, doe-like eyes.  
And schlatt felt so dumb. He couldn't-  
He couldn't give this kid up. 

Schlatt was smart

But this kid.. this kid was his.

Schlatt had no idea what had overcame him. The next day he took a day off work for the first time in his life. And he got everything imaginable. He got a cradle, he got blankets, food, toys.. so many things he wasnt even half sure how to use.

He couldn't bear to put the kid in the cradle. He slept next to him the entire night.

The next day he told puffy.  
She took it... about as well as could be expected. There was some yelling over the phone. And in person. 

But then she met the kid and... she couldn't stay mad.

"Whats his name?" She asked while bouncing the kid on her knee

"Uh.. kid?"

"You are not naming him kid."

"Well I dunno! The note didn't give me a name and he's to young to know his!"

"Then choose one!"

"Uuuuhhhh Jay."

"Jay. So his name would be Jay schlatt."

"Yup."  
"No. I will personally turn this kid over to cps if you name him after yourself.

"Well do you have a better idea?"

"Uhhhhhhh. Theo."

"Like Theodore?"

"Yeah! Tschlatt!"

"I dunno."

"Well what about you little guy? You like theo?"

The kid giggled as puffy bounced him.

"I guess it works.."  
"Yeah, im pretty good at naming."

Puffy passed theo back to schlatt,

"Theo, huh?" 

Theo reached up and curled his fingers around schlatts horn. Schlatt wanted to flinch. His entire body screamed to leave. Years of tugs and bumps and abuse screaming at him to pull back.

But he pushed bat the thought and focused on his surroundings.

Because schlatt was smart and knew that no matter how hard someone pulled, they wouldn't come off.  
He had tried, after all.

Theo giggled in glee as he tugged on the horn. Schlatt's smile became a bit less forced. Puffy noticed, and for a second she though of joining him on the loveseat, she considered telling him that everything would be okay and that he could do this.  
..  
She wouldn't lie to her brother. 

"..Schlatt do you think you can do this?"

"I-..  
I dont know, Puffy.  
...  
But I dont have a choice."

"Sure you do."

"No. I dont. I dont know why I feel like this puffy but.. this kid.. theo. H-hes a part of my life I cant live without."

"You've known him for a day!"

"I DONT CARE!"

Everything went silent. Tension filled the air between the two like a pool of honey as they locked eyes. Then Theo startled at the loud noise and started crying.

"Ah shit- shh, shh buddy,"

He stood up and started bouncing him while walking.

"Puffy, I cant leave him."

He turned away and started pacing the house while attempting to calm theo. Puffy leaned against the arm of the armchair.

"..  
I'll be here." She whispered.

"Huh?"

"I'll help you. I wont raise your kid, schlatt. But if you need a babysitter.. I'll keep my schedule open often as possible."

"Puffy- i-"

He leaned in for an aquard no arm hug.  
"Thank you."

And so for a while, schlatt was the happiest he had been. He loved Theo, and while he couldn't give him a home cooked meal every night or stay with him every day, he made it work. Puffy babysat, as well as various hired teens and one time, an intern who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

7, maybe 8 months went by, and things were good. Theo was learning to talk and was developing his own interests, namely animals, the kid was obsessed with animals and Schlatt often felt bad he couldn't get the kid a pet.. but there was no way he could afford the time for a kid and a pet.

He did make a habit of taking theo to the zoo monthly, though. However theo was far more interested in the bee hive by the park. Schlatt always got worried when he saw the kid watching the bees at work, but Theo just had a way with them. It was amazing, how he could get them to land on his finger just by staying still. One of the most patient kids on the planet.

Then the eighth month came. Schlatt came to work one morning to find a pink slip waiting for him. At first he didn't know who, or why, but it was only then he learned that as he was CEO by inheritance, his father had given the board members permission to vote him out should they deem him "incompetent". The board members weren't exactly happy with his leadership, namely replacing old protocol with newer, more efficient methods. They were money centered and couldn't see past the fact he was losing short term money. 

And so they voted him out. One last kick in the ass from his dead dad.

And that wasn't even the end of it. His father, being the vindictive bastard he was, put a clause in his will that forfeited schlatts claim to the house should he prove himself unfit to lead.

He had about a months worth of saving when he found some crappy apartment to board in. Theo didn't take it very well, and could you expect him to? In one day his world had been turned upside down, he did have his own room, he wasnt near the park with the bees. His life was practically over in his eyes.

And schlatt was smart, and knew that theo deserved so much more.

He deserved the world in his eyes.

And he couldn't even get him new shoes.  
And Theo.. he was such a nice kid. Theo had tears in his eyes the entire move, But he never complained to schlatt, not once. 

"I wish I could do it better theo. I- I dont know what I'm doing."

Schlatt whispered apologies as he cradled theo every night. 

"God, you're such an amazing kid."

He searched desperately for a job with flexible hours, but it was hard and he often had to cancel interviews to be there for theo.

And so it was two weeks before he ran out of rent, that he took one day to relax.

On the rare occasions he had an opportunity to relax, he would take theo to the playground a block from their appartment. There he often saw another family in passing, a boy around tubbos age, two adolescents, and an older man, presumably their father.

He never interacted with them, and he was sure they didn't even know who he was. But he watched them every time. Because he needed a plan B.

He was smart.

He knew a kid couldn't survive on the streets.

He knew theo didn't deserve to.

He knew that this family was stable.

And he knew they were moving next week.

Now or never.

He took theo out that day, a  
"Boys night out!" I say we go get some ice cream, and head to the park!"

"Yeah! Park!"

Theo bounced on the heels of his feet before running to put on his favorite outfit, a green button up shirt.

Schlatt reached down to button it up but theo grabbed his hand.

"No! I do it!"

"Alright, alright!

He raised his hands and sat patiently while theo struggled with the task. He got the first few right, but things quickly went awry when he missed a hole and continued on, leaving a gap in his abdomen. He beamed up at schlatt, who couldn't find it in him to correct it.

"Great job bud."

And then he picked him up. 

"Man, you're getting big buddy!"

"I'm gonna be tall!"

Schlatt was so proud. Theo had began using longer sentences. And he was right, he was getting tall. Schlatt fought away the stab of grief that hit him as he pushed away the thought that he would never see it.

They walked down the street, taking time to stop and smell the flowers. Sometimes literally with theo. They arrived at a quaint ice cream parlor and Schlatt let theo get a double scoop of rocky road. Safe to say Theo was beyond ecstatic.

"Chocolate!"

"Yup, thats right buddy. 

..

I have one more surprise, okay bud?"

Schlatt pulled out the final gift from his bag, a giant stuffed bee. Theo's eyes lit up and he grabbed it hugging it close and stamping his feet in pure glee.

Schlatt picked him up and kissed the top of his head, resting the nearly two year old on his hip all the way to the park.

He felt his insides turn to ice when he saw the family walking down the paths.  
Now or never.

"Theo youll-

God why is this so hard.

Theo you'll be okay i promise."

Theo looked up in confusion. Schlatt was smart. He knew he needed to stay calm to keep theo calm.

"Hey buddy, I'll be back real soon, kay? You just hug your bee here and sit tight. 

Just stay right here.

You'll be okay."

Theo bit his lip and nodded.

"Okay."

Schlatt felt tears coming

"Theo, you are the most amazing kid in the world. I love you so much."

"Luh' you too daddy."

Schlatt couldn't trust himself to talk. He rubbed the top of theo's head and squeezed his hand. Then he pushed the bee next to theo and sat him down on the bench. He spied the family through the trees and panicked, running off down the winding path.

Schlatt was smart.

He knew Theo would be okay.  
He knew he knew he knew he knew he knew.

Theo didnt have horns yet. He would be okay.

Besides, the adult had wings! He shouldn't care if theo was a hybrid! Right?

Theo was nice. Theo was trusting. He would be okay.

Schlatt was smart.

He knew that-

He knew that he already felt the gaping hole in his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Check out my profile for more oneshots!


End file.
